My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize