ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just forgot I was standing up.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
