2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
