Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
