I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize