Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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