just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
