When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
