I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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