I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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