For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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