false alarm. still invincible.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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