A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
how does that bad decision feel?
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