He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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