i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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