I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize