found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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