I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
