just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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