I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
