I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
