her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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