I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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