saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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