You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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