Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
