I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize