I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My pussy is not your playground.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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