What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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