john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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