I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
