Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
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He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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