The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
