It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
