Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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