i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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