My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize