I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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