Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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