Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
