i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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