tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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