is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Houston, we have a squirter
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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