The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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