# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
