Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
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Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
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Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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