Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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