Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize