i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
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At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
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Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My penis needs a shock collar
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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