East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
