That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
