I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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