i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
