I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
