dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
