He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Acid is not a monday night drug
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize